fear
fear
Song: Thriller, Michael Jackson
Happy Halloween!
One of the most fearful moments of my life was in the Bearing Sea of Alaska. In 2005 I joined the United States Coast Guard, and quickly found myself attached to a large ship based out of Alameda, CA. To add to the incoming drama my assigned ship was on deployment when I was to report aboard. In normal fashion the government flew me to meet my ship mid deployment. I met my ship for the first time in Dutch Harbor, AK. A few short but head spinning first days later I was watching the island fade away towards the horizon and beyond. It was at this time I met the Pacific Ocean. That big beast threw 20 foot seas at us that day. While standing on the flight deck in these 20 foot tall waves looking at the last bit of land id see for weeks, I felt as though I was going to fly right off the ship given a tip or roll to one side too far.
Those seas coupled with the flight nets being lowered during special details, left me looking straight up to the sky on the upside of a wave and straight down to the depth abyss of the Bearing Sea on the other. Feeling minuscule today? Lol
It was right before I soiled my pants and cried for my mom that I looked over and saw a much more experienced sailor with an anchor symbol as his collar devices. This mustached man carrying a coffee mug was sipping on that Joe while standing still legs crossed on that deck. I was grasping to the bumpy deck surface with my toenails and this man was casually enjoying the morning before work started. Appearing to do so just as he had done countless times before. He unknowingly gave me the confidence to proceed that day. Showing those old tarnished and corroded anchors as bright as the sun. This is an awe inspired memory that guided me in my pursuits of my own Anchors. (I got em in the end)
It was that day that I learned a great military lesson. I decided that day to rewire my brain. I told myself with sticking impact, dont freak out unless everyone else is freaking out. That carried me well through the first few years of service before I moved into more leadership positions where I was tasked to not freak out when you know its bad, as to not let the junior personnel take scare in your appearance.
A few lessons in stoicism of differing but similar nature.