ambition
ambition
Song: Man in the Mirror, Michael Jackson
Ambition makes the world go round. Without ambition both nothing would be accomplished and emotions would tailor our experiences beyond and astray from our intended path. What do we do when ambition is lost? What do we do when the things that once gave us ambition actually start to take ambition from us? How do we handle these difficult moments to prevent the lengthy recovery after years of self neglect? Im not positive, but ive seen it possible through others.
Today I was inspired. I am traveling to North Carolina to take a group of Veterans on a free fly fishing weekend in the blue ridge mountains. Seemingly inspirational in itself huh? In 2018 I created Veterans Go Outdoors. This organization is one of great value to me, I could even go as far to say that it has saved some lives including mine. I was a sad case upon a time. Confused and distraught I was burdened with mental pain and anguish that I was believing would never subside, much less fade away. I found myself in a dual diagnosis rehabilitation center clinging to any slice of hope that would relieve me of my mental torture. I read the bible cover to cover, I learned to play spades, I especially learned about my disease of alcoholism and my struggles with lifelong CPTSD. None of these lessons felt inspirinng enough to make the change in myself. I couldnt find the answer to my whoas, but to quote a great movie as well as my thoughts, id say this… I went into rehab with a Bachelors of Alcohol and left with a Masters of Science in Alcohol, Drugs, and Kinship
Kinship? We are in this together! Sitting in those rooms for 12 hr days and listening to eachother voice our deepest concerns and feelings and then spend hours digesting to work through the emotions and thoughts… Those moments gave me the lessons I needed then and the memories that carry me today to be better than yesterday. Without those lengthy days and longer nights, id still be the absolute mess I was internally. Like I said, I was confused and distraught. Today I am happy and excited for the future. I owe my successes in part to the subtle, quiet, or even unspoken voices that rang those dorms in Connecticut.
At the end of my first trip to that rehabilitation center in 2018 I took a look at the man in the mirror and finally, for the first time in my life, felt true ambition. I made the decision to dedicate a portion of my life to the men and women that need help, to the very people that protect us time and time again, the same people that provide the freedom we all get to enjoy. Yes I was a member of the military myself. Yes I am a sorry case (at times) myself. Most importantly, YES I am fervently supportive of those people that could use a helping hand. I dont give a RIP if anyone supports me, and I started Veterans Go Outdoors because of my lack of care for others opinions of me as well as the needed impact on the lives we share. Ill burn every ounce of calories I take in to help someone in need. That is ambition to me, to put others ahead of yourself, to find passion in helping those that need it. To find the positive in my life through the good spirit and gratefullness of these fine men and women that I get the pleasure of sharing a stream with. People helping people, thats the meaning of my life.
This time tomorrow I will be waist deep in a prestine and flowing river. Hoping to catch fish, but positive that ambition for the next phase of life will be found. These trips provide hope and satisfaction that cannot be stated without the vision of first hand experience. I am grateful beyond words for what VGO provides for everyone involved. Thank a vet today, they deserve it.